rain oh rainy day

Just spoke to a friend about her constant struggle with her boyfriend’s secretive and compulsive alcohol and cigarette habit.

Then I’ve kinda summed up the difference between a person who is open hearted and the other kind that is narrow hearted. Very often, the open hearted ones forgive their significant other regardless of how hurt he/she is by the deeds/misdeeds and he/she’ll remember but never bear a grudge. Their ‘dissatisfaction’ level is offset to 0 at the point of reconcile. The narrow-hearted ones on the other hand, never truly forgives, they may verbalize acceptance or conclusion but their judgement of their significant other will be affected by the incident. At their worst, all the unhappiness that has been pushed aside and unattended is brought back to ever new conflict and catches the other party by surprise because some stuffs were thought to be ‘forgiven’. In short, its like a piece of magnifying glass is added to the scope of view, the flaws are magnified and what they perceive of the other party is never the same again. One fine day, when there are too many fragments of magnification devices and the object becomes grotesquely distorted to the point beyond recognition to the original ‘control’ or the expected outcome, the connection between the two person breaks. The open-hearted people’s acceptance for their significant other is like a glass, she sees the person as he/she is and the view can never be distorted because when everything anger or sadness offsets back to 0, the dust or fog on the glass is wiped away and clarity returns.

I think we’re all human, we err and we unintentionally hurt each other. But for a romantic relationship to work out, as a matter of fact, for any kind relationship to work out, both parties must learn to truly forgive and see the person as who they really are instead of them under tension. Never be the kind of narrow hearted person who adds a piece of magnifying glass to scrutinize for more flaws in the other party. Instead, just offset all negativity to 0 and see the person as he/she really is once again. Always try to see things as they are, never focus on the flaws and try to discover the strengths and beauty of everybody. I may have figured this logic out, but there are times when negative emotions get the better of me and I refuse to exercise this thoughts too. But I guess thats what makes me human.

But what really disgusts me if how people can claim that their significant other will be their future spouse but you interact with them with such narrow hearts. You can forgive your siblings and even cousins etc for being the kind of people you hate, doing the things you deem wrong simply because they have the ‘same’ blood as you but you scrutinize things your significant other does. Fyi, your significant other that you’ve thought about marrying will become part of your family, so why not use the same acceptance and magnanimity you’ve shown your blood related family?

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Playlist

Daughtry – What about now

Lady Antebellum – Need you now

Lady Antebellum – Just a kiss

Deathgaze – Amends

Plain white T’s – Hey there Delilah

these were songs that have very meaningful lyrics the past few months (or at the moment). but I seriously shouldnt waste my time on a person who doesnt care. I dont need another person who criticizes me without understanding of what goes through in my head, and is not as critical of himself as he is of others. Not as if getting called redundant, fat, ugly, stupid, useless and sub-standard by my parents isnt painful enough.

On a brighter note, I’ve deleted the folder with images, quotes etc I’ve kept. I’ll also be going for a job interview. (: I should not falter in my process to recovery, gotta keep reminding myself that there are many animals to save and lands to reforest. =D

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