you try to be cool, you look like a fool to me

i feel like i’ll always end up taking the role of the third party, watching people change. I’ve tried to prevent what i regard as ‘bad’ from taking form, by after awhile, apathy for human interaction takes over. I become wary of putting people before myself when they don’t appreciate it, and then i fade into their world of mundane; the numerous strangers in their lives but leave no trace, I just watch it happen right before me.

I don’t feel grief or anger, just mere disgust. Its the same feeling i get when I realize my food has a strand of hair inside or that theres a speck of dust on my window pane, or a crack on my plate or a scratch on my laptop. I feel like getting rid of the subject matter. and i think I’m actually very demanding, but people refuse to acknowledge it no matter how many disclaimers I’ve put up forehand.

some people are dumb/shameless/lame/fake to the point of fascination. it intrigues me so that some times i love to watch and feel the same disgust i feel when i see those small flaws. I just watch and observe, and form my own little theorems and amuse myself in my mind.

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