one thing leads to another

everybody says that i don’t verbalize my thoughts. what is there to say? I believe actions speak louder than words. My thoughts, believes and aspirations are all translated into actions. Its even more ironic that people who preach these to me don’t share more while expecting me to do the exact opposite.

stop making me out to be somebody I’m not. If you want me to be happy or smile, stop doing things that I hate. Am i suppose to smile and encourage you guys to constantly buy and/or prepare excess amount of food? How can I hang around and watch you guys do what I think is wrong? You say that I only have eyes for my computer and mobile phone, but if I took time away from these companions I have at home and sit in the living room, will you take your eyes off the TV and talk normally and not preach things for the 928918361753rd time and just let me have a stress-free time? No. So why expect me to change when you don’t?

want me to talk/share my feelings? Then make time for me. Thats the basic rule. Its lie if somebody approaches me in hopes of sharing their feelings and thoughts, I give them my full attention. And even if situation doesn’t permit me to, I’ll say, “tell me everything and I’ll read and reply later” and when I say that, I mean it. If only people truly spoke and listened with an open mind.

oh well, tired of it all. everybody demands so much, thinking that they are entitled to it just because they “are busy with work” while I’m “not doing anything.” Don’t you guys know you have to make time for happiness? Obviously most people take happiness and people around them who are willing to provide them comfort for granted. Take a pet for example. If you want it to be affectionate around you and let you hug it for comfort when you cry, you have to devote time to play with it, care for it and gain its trust. And when you take its affections for gated and neglect it, soon it’ll rather just play alone by itself. That pretty much explains why typing my thoughts out are always so comforting because I wont be judged, I need not worry about being misunderstood and I can take my time and form my sentences. And I whatever I say is what it is and will not be subjected to misinterpretation according to the listener’s mood. Typing is the only form of expression where all variables are constant and safe and no damage is done onto others.

When I’m unsatisfied with a situation, I attempt to change it, but when I don’t yield results, I accept that its beyond my power to change the situation. I just accept that I’m helpless and lower my expectations to reduce dissatisfaction. I may have changed my expectations but that doesn’t mean my ideals have changed. It just means that I’m putting up with it for bigger desires that I think is worth the cause.

if only all problems can be burnt away. then I’ll power turbines with the unhappiness in this world and hopefully they don’t emit greenhouse gases.


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