a day I dont feel like doing anything

everything normal is becoming tiring and troublesome. I just want to escape elsewhere for awhile. to just breathe slowly but deeply and meaningfully and realize I miss what I have.

or maybe its because I want to regain control again. to not have to eat what people decided for me at a time that was also not my decision. to be around people means compromise; because the happiness of people who matters, matters. To be honest, I miss the small things. Like eating instant noodles, not eating, not having to take medicine, being able to cough when I cough, not having to justify why I cough, not having to drink water when I dont want to, eating fast food, having a ‘down’ time. just feels like I’m me but I’m slowly to not be me anymore.

when you’re moderately or entirely a push-over, you’ll be surrounded by pushy people. and when you decide that you dont want to be pushed around anymore, those who once could gets upset.

i’m going to work on my assertiveness and be me again. I’ll work, travel, fall sick, eat, and live as I please. too much compromising is usually fine until it gets taken for granted.


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